C'mon, you knew I had to ask Norbizness (you know, from Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness) some questions. How can one ignore one of the funniest bloggers around? Well, other than by becoming a Republican...
I tried to make the questions fit Norbizness, but that may be impossible. My questions bolded, responses blockquoted, yadayadayada. Here goes...
You're surrounded by a gang that wants to kick your ass. You're given the option of picking three conservative bloggers to help you fight your way out. Which three do you pick?
(1) Michelle Malkin, for sure. I'm told that her crazy face has the ability to stop the hearts of lesser mortals. I myself suffered a small coronary just clicking over on that link.
(2) One of the dipshits from Powerline, because I'm told that the Time Magazine Blog of the Year certificate of authenticity conveys special powers to its recipients (apart from the special power of becoming an even more gargantuan set of assholes).
(3) Hugh Hewitt. One look at/listen to him from the assorted gang members, and the impetus to kick my ass dissipates and is transferred over to him. We're talking East-side Latin Kings initiate-style beatdown.
What would your casting be if Fox remade "Broadcast News" with Fox News personnel, and how would the plot change?
See, this is good. I never saw that movie.
Why didn't you see Broadcast News?
Something about William Hurt makes me want to walk towards the nearest living thing and kill it.
What does norbizness mean, and can people call you norby?
It's just an old nickname, based on the root word "business." When somebody, in our vernacular, got "business-like" or was "taking care of business", it meant they were smashed, baked, tripping, shrooming, or otherwise fucked up.
What has been Bush's biggest secret screwup, one that nobody has any inkling about... yet?
Based on the failure of the six-party talks in Pyongyang, a North Korean ICBM with nuclear payload has actually been launched and destroyed most of Oklahoma, but nobody has seemed to notice or care (HOOK 'EM!).
What is your pin code at your ATM machine?
I'm totally off the grid.
When are you going to get that Hollywood gig, and can I leech some meaningless job out of it when you do?
Hollywood Video keeps rejecting my applications on the grounds that "burning abandoned warehouses for no apparent reason" is not a legitimate job skill. As for your pathetic request... have some shrimp and salsa-flavored Ramen.
Mmmm, salsa-flavored. Thanks Norbizness!