When boy wrestles girl, neither feels like a winner
No matter what happens, Maurice Baker’s friends are going to enjoy this.
They stand alongside Baker on the edge of the mat, minutes before he risks a life’s worth of pride.
They tell him that the girl he is about to wrestle was the No. 3 girl wrestler in the nation last year. But they also make sure Baker hears their laughter when they watch her warm up.
On this recent Saturday morning, it’s hard to figure out who is delivering the bigger psych job: Baker’s friends or the girl, Shamaine Danner. There she is, on the other side of the mat, slapping her face with both hands. She’s pacing within a 10-foot area, and this being her hometown of Richmond, nobody is invading her space.
This whole high school girl vs. boy thing can bring out myriad emotions for everyone involved. The boy doesn’t want to hurt her, but he also can’t lose. The girl feels constant pressure to validate her very presence on the mat. The boy’s parents and coach just hope he finishes the day without a loss and a long bus ride home. Even the girl’s coach feels awkward.
“I feel bad when she beats a boy,” Richmond coach John Daniels admits.
I guess this co-ed competition in a grappling sport is a good thing, and hopefully twenty years from now it won't be a big deal. But it does put high school student athletes in a strange position at a difficult age as far as dealing with gender norms and expectations.
I'll admit, if our daughter said she wanted to wrestle boys in high school, I'm not sure I'd be very excited about it. There is a social attention aspect to this type of co-ed participation in sports that does not come with sports that are less physically intimate. People have mixed feelings about it. Participation becomes muddled into social values. You can see it in this article.
On the other hand, if there are no female wrestling programs in high school, and a girl wants to compete, there's little option for her. If she wants to play, she has to participate in a co-ed program and automatically jump into the social aspect of it as well.